It was not the easiest mistake to make, an unobserved moment that became a big distraction whilst my back was turned. I wish it had not happened and that I was more aware of my surroundings and had a better sense of what was in my blind spot. too late. And as I pondered on what it meant to be 'too late', so I realised that being too late would not recover my pain at being too late.
So maybe it was not the mistake I was concerned with but the recovery from the mistake. I didn't want the emotional pain not the need to restore my wellbeing, or to consider that yes I can make mistakes and both the mistake and the desire to make amends were key to my next moves.
Do I have integrity? Are the values of humanity embedded in my soul, the desire to love mankind, the concern when one life is made better because I care.
So why did one word cause so much pain, one mistake measure the hidden person who's language gauges all things, who's values are shaped by the hidden world that would rather hurt than heal.
The things I don't want to do, I do. The things I do I don't want to do, I have awareness and consider that my conscious self wants to be the person that is filled with the desire to be fruitful, showing love, joy, peace, patience, kindness, goodness, faithfulness, gentleness and self control. The words have to spill out in reality, hence one word, one mistake challenges all the qualities of my being. And the biggest word is, sorry. Sorry I need to say sorry and sorry for the pain.
I forgive you makes the sorry go away.
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